July 23, 2024
The transition to college is a milestone moment for students and their parents. During the recent Scholarship Celebration Summit, we hosted a panel with a few South Carolina college experts and asked how parents can and should support their students as they start their freshmen year.
Dr. Amanda James, associate vice president for enrollment & dean of admissions at Winthrop University, said she surveyed the 16 students who work in her office and asked, “How much should your parents be reaching out to you?” Each student had a different answer.
James said what was true for all 16 students was that communication with their parents was importnat. And what they talked about with their parents was even more critical, she said.
“I don’t think there is a magic number on how many times to reach out, but I do think that it is important that when you do reach out, it’s supportive, it’s encouraging, and it’s asking how they’re doing, and if they need anything,” James said.
Dr. Monica Greene Robertson, assistant vice president for honors & college experience at Claflin University, suggested getting familiar with your child’s schedule so you’re not calling them during class then worrying about why they don’t answer.
Some parents might ask themselves whether they’re crossing the line from being a supportive parent to a helicopter parent. James recommended that parents not reach out to their child’s professors unless it’s an emergency. Otherwise, parental interference can hinder the professor’s ability to build connection with students, she said.
Robertson agreed, saying students should be given the freedom to handle their business.
“Teach them how to read their award letter,” she said. “Teach them how to read their schedule. If you don’t know, ask somebody, and teach your child. You don’t need to go on that campus and find out where their classes are located. Allow your child to figure that out on their own.
You have to teach your children to be independent. You want them to be able to go out into this world and be successful thriving adults. And it starts now.”
Dr. Mari Ross-Alexander, associate vice president for student health and well-being at USC – Columbia, agreed and said parents should let their children fail.
“We have a class on failure because we have high-achieving students who aren’t used to Bs, Cs, or Ds, and Fs will send them over the edge, right?” she said. “And in college, it is normal to fail. You’re not going to be perfect at everything. So, (parents) need to learn to let students fail, too. Let students not get their assignments in on time or their immunization records so they can’t register. You can teach them how to adjust, be resilient and have grit, and that is how they’re going to cross the stage in four or five years … Let them fail and you are there as a safety net when they do.”
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